Many women now face the problem of alcoholism in the family. "My husband drinks every day, what should he do? ", "My husband has been drinking for 10 days, how should he behave? " - these questions have been heard more and more lately. Of course, his wife is an alcoholic - it's scary. If alcoholism is not combated, it can generally turn life into eternal torture. But here you should always remember that alcoholism is a disease, not a personal choice of a certain person. A sick person no doubt needs the support of loved ones when he is unable to cope on his own. But as a rule, the wife suffers first when she drinks. And at such times the question often arises: what should a man do when he drinks? There are several ways out of this situation: leave it and divorce, or try to fight for your life and help your loved one. Although we can say with confidence that this struggle will not be easy. But here the decision must be made by the woman herself, no advice from a psychologist will help. Only he can decide what he wants and what he can do to achieve his goal.
A difficult decision
Divorce is the simplest and easiest solution. Thus, a woman is freed from responsibility for the man's future. But in this case, you must follow a certain behavior. The main thing here: if you decide to leave, leave. Whatever the persuasion or pleading, it is important to know that the promises of alcohol cannot be trusted. He will do anything to convince his wife: to choke on tears, to give gifts, to kneel. If that doesn't work, he could resort to violence or blackmail. Therefore, you should not submit to his guidance, because once you believe in it, you can cause such concerts to be repeated. And they can last more than a week, even more than a month. In this case, the advice of a psychologist is ambiguous: you need to make a definite decision, make it clear to your husband, do not trust the promises and do not regret it. We must always remember that no matter how bad the husband is, the wife will be doubly bad.
If the choice is made to fight and help the closest person, then the woman must be patient. The most important thing in this situation is to understand why the husband started drinking, and then go deeper into solving this problem. Today, there are many ways to keep a person away from alcohol.
First, you must learn to behave properly. If your spouse starts drinking more often and starts drinking from time to time, you can try to change your tactics. After all, he is sure that when he comes home, he will have another scandal by breaking his tears and dishes. Or will it be met with deadly silence and hatred like ice? In any case, it is necessary to try to change: to be more kind, to surround him with attention and care, in addition to drinking alcohol, to try to open him to other joys of life. This behavior often confuses men, and then it is very easy to deal with them. At the very least, you will save your nerves by protecting yourself and your children from unjust aggression.
Second, we must try to protect believers from their drinking friends. Indeed, men often drink vodka for company or in solitude. Men's self-confidence is very low when they drink binge. It seems to them that no one needs them anymore and they do not deserve anything. Try to prove how wrong he was:
- to show that he is the head of the family, that he is the hope and support, and that everything can collapse without his presence;
- to focus on children who are psychologically difficult to live with a drunken father;
- to enchant him with new interests and hobbies.
Interdependence
A woman may not be able to leave her alcoholic husband. There may be many reasons for this, but he still needs to understand how to live.
There is such a thing as interdependence, when a woman involuntarily becomes socially or physically dependent on her husband, trying to get him out of the pit and return him to his family. This usually happens when a woman has a strong emotional attachment to another. Only an experienced psychologist can help here.
There are clear signs to judge the existence of a connection:
- a woman is responsible for her husband's health, mood and well-being;
- she tries to convince her husband by doing all her husband's work;
- feels the need to help her husband with problems, in general, to solve problems for him;
- justifies the inappropriate behavior of the spouse in front of others;
- she feels guilty about what happened to her husband;
- he closes his eyes to the problem, believing that everything that is not seen is for the better;
- is equally addicted to alcohol, has no ability to resist;
- considers himself a victim who pays for past sins;
- physically or emotionally attached to your spouse.
What to do for the wife when the husband goes to drink
There are many reasons why men go drinking for a long time. The main ones are:
- unwillingness to resist addiction;
- family conflicts;
- inability to cope with stress.
Everyone knows that alcohol causes euphoria, so a person develops one of the strongest addictions, he may not have the desire to overcome it. Weakness of mind and willpower can also be one of the reasons for alcohol consumption. And if the stressful situation at home or at work is long-term, a person can drink almost every day.
Denial of alcoholism is a problem for all alcoholics. You can always hear all sorts of excuses, for example: "Yes, I drink alcohol and I like it! " Or "I do not drink for no reason. "An alcoholic never admits that he is addicted, he thinks he can quit whenever he wants. But in reality, everything ends with another shamelessness, after which their confidence in the strength of their character and those around them begins again.
It is not difficult to understand what to do in such a situation - to treat unequivocally. But it is important to understand what a wife should not do. It's not worth it:
- look for excuses to drink;
- to hide the problem, to dress it with a needle, to try to show that it is not as it is;
- to justify to her colleagues or managers that her husband is not working or is systematically late;
- drink less with your spouse;
- give a drink at home as long as he does not drink on the street;
- then wash and clean the consequences of alcohol intoxication;
- buy alcohol;
- blackmail with sexual intercourse;
- threatening divorce;
- treat her husband secretly.
There are various ways to help a person get out of a traffic jam:
- drug solution;
- folk remedies;
- psychological assistance and rehabilitation program;
- prayer or conspiracy against alcoholism.
Light drink
With such an early stage of alcohol dependence, you can try to go through the folk methods of getting rid of alcohol. It is also good that the treatment can be carried out at home. The first thing to do is to allow the patient to sleep and then continue to rest in bed. It is recommended to drink plenty of fluids to restore the water-salt balance in the body. In this case, a variety of fruit drinks, herbal infusions and decoctions are suitable. You can also take contrast showers, herbal baths, massages and other procedures aimed at improving and restoring the body. It is not necessary to seek medical help without consulting a specialist, otherwise you can cause unexpected complications.
Heavy drink
If the binge lasts for more than three days, you will most likely need the help of a narcologist. You can call a specialist at home. He will carefully follow the doctor's instructions, correctly assess the patient's condition and prescribe the medication to be taken.
Often, a doctor prescribes IV drops at home to relieve withdrawal symptoms, which help cleanse the blood of alcohol toxins and ethanol breakdown products. Both often contain restorative substances and sedatives. The fact is that a person who drinks often becomes aggressive, panicked or has unexplained fears.
After a binge, your doctor may recommend classes with a psychologist and prescribe psychotropic medications to calm him down and restore his nervous system.
Heavy drink
The heavy drink intake usually lasts a week or more. If the condition is virtually out of control, or if the drinker has a chronic illness, only hospitalization at a drug or toxicology clinic can help. Hospital treatment will help prevent the possible unpleasant consequences of a heavy drink that can manifest itself in the form of "delirium tremens" or alcoholic psychosis. In such a situation, the patient is unable to control himself and may act aggressively against any member of the family in a disturbed state. Of course, it is advisable not to bring it up so much, but if the withdrawal syndrome suddenly becomes very difficult, treatment with herbs or prayers is indispensable. You need to go to a drug hospital as soon as possible, otherwise you can cause serious damage to your health, including death.
results
When a husband is an alcoholic, it is a terrible sorrow for those close to him. They are more worried and suffer than the patient himself. Sometimes life is so unbearable that you have to make a choice: protect your family or your health. Rarely can a woman end a happy family life once, especially if she has children who still love their father. All she has to do is get her lover out of this terrible trap. But it is very difficult to do it alone, and in fact, it is not necessary. In this situation you can not do without psychological help and support. The advice of an experienced specialist will explain to you how to behave properly and what to do to get your husband out of the binge and bring him back to normal life. All you have to do is be very patient and never give up, because despair can lead to hasty actions, and then you can sincerely regret it.